Over vale and under tree

"Listen, take my sword, get out of this forest and cross that blood-soaked hill.
Then toss my sword into the deep lake beyond it.
Go, be proud. For you have executed the King's order.
This sleep is going to be a bit... longer..."

I sense you so close, but I can't touch you even if I reach out.
But even if I can't reach, there are things that remain in my heart, right?
We lived at the same time and saw the same things.
As long as we remember that, we can believe that we are one even if we are far apart.
I'll keep running, for the moment.
Because I should reach what I seek if I keep running.

*****************************************************************************
I may forget her voice and personality one day.
But I will always remember that I loved someone called Amy.
And that is enough, for now. :)

Will you still be able to remember the way your hand fit in mine?

You left me hanging from a thread
We once were from together
I lick my wounds but I can
Never see them getting better
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

Her hair was pressed against her face
Her eyes were ran with anger
Enraged by things unsaid
And empty beds and bad behavior
Something’s gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean
To hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, ...(+5)
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right
Whoa, oh

The room was silent as we
All tried so hard to remember
The way it feels to be alive
The day that he first met her
Something’s gotta change
Things cannot stay the same

You make me think of someone wonderful
But I can’t place her
I wake up every morning
Wishing one more time to face her
Something’s gotta change
It must be rearranged, oh

I’m sorry, I did not mean
To hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, ...
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right

So much to love
So much to learn
But I won’t be there to teach you, oh
I know I can be closed
But I'll try my best to reach you

I’m so sorry,
I did not mean to hurt my little girl
It's beyond me, I cannot carry
The weight of a heavy world
So goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, goodnight, goodnight, goodnight
Goodnight, hope that things work out all right..
Whoa, oh…
Yeah…

It's sad when you know it's your heart you can't trust...

Always Be My Baby

We were as one babe
For a moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die
No!

You'll always be a part of me
I'm a part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably you'll be back again
Cause ya know in your heart babe
Our love will never end no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder oooohhh
I know that, you'll be right back, babe
Ooooh! baby believe me it's only a matter of time

You'll always be apart of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my my baby....

You'll always be apart of me (you will always be)
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on (we will linger on....)
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling cause you'll always be my baby

Whatever It Takes

A strangled smile fell from your face
It kills me that I hurt you this way
The worst part is that I didn't even know
Now there's a million reasons for you to go
But if you can find a reason to stay

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
Believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

She said "If we're gonna make this work
You gotta let me inside even though it hurts
Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see"
She said "Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be
You gotta love yourself if you can ever love me"

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know that I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
And give me a break
I'll keep us together, I know you deserve much better

But remember the time I told you the way that I felt
That I'd be lost without you and never find myself
Let's hold onto each other above everything else
Start over, start over

I'll do whatever it takes
To turn this around
I know what's at stake
I know I've let you down
And if you give me a chance
and believe that I can change
I'll keep us together whatever it takes

Well, hello world.. I'm back again, yet again. =P Sitting in front of the comp watching these words crawl across the screen like the proverbal ants always do.. Standing at my window, at my balcony, feeling the cold caresses of the wind on my cheek, the movement of the red clouds far above dancing along the light of the moon preparing to shed thier crimson tears.. I know i should be sleeping.. I know the As are less than a week away.. but.. there seems to be something missing tonight. An dear me, being (as usual) far more connected to my subconscious mind than to reality is having trouble figuring it out. :P
Well, sushi bars and an overload (but still pleasant nonetheless :P i'm incorrigible XD) of macs and visit to st andrew's cathedral have been part of my diet for the past few days.. and I -must- say tt's it's been a really.. interesting experience to say the very least. ;)
Breathing in the cool, crisp, wet air carried along by the breeze.. is not about as cathartic as laughter and talk. But an interesting thought plods along and plonks itself down in my mind nonetheless.. That moon up there playing hide and seek with itself in the clouds.. does it ever get lonely?
It has a companion sure.. the Earth. Orbits, connected, devoted even. Coz you don't see it drifting/flying off to join another planet like Mars or something right? ;) But how much is that worth when the Earth only sees it when it's in darkness?
It has friends too of course.. Each of the millions of stars out there.. But with each star so far away.. so cold now that by they've alrdy burned out by the time their light lights upon it..
Sure the moon has the sun too.. but when both of them are set in their own orbits and so far away from each other.. Orbits can change.
Second thought plods along.. (my my there are quite a few of those tonight aren't there?=P) and of course decides to, of all things, take a sit beside the first. That very same moon shining down from the velvety sky..
Is there anyone else out there looking at this same moon?
Does it's light touch alight with feathery longing upon the face of anyone asleep out there?
If only thoughts could be sent by moonlights. Why, we'd have no need for email then! ;)
..
..
Another red cloud drifts across the moon..
And they all orbit about themselves.

Before you leave, let me tell you a story..

This story is not my own.. It is about a man and a woman who randomly pass each other on the street one day. Both immediately get the intuition that the other is the one-hundred-percent perfect person for them. And through some miracle, they work up the courage to speak to each other.
They walk and talk for hours, and get along perfectly. But, gradually, a sliver of doubt creeps into their hearts. It seems too good to be true. So, to make sure they're really supposed to be together, they decide to part without exchanging contact information and let fate decide. If they run into each other again, then they will truly know that they are each other's one-hundred-percent perfect love and will marry on the spot.
A day passes, a week passes, a month passes, years pass -- and they don't see each other. Eventually, they each date other people, who are not their true love. Many years, later, they finally pass on the street again, but too much time has gone by and they don't recognise each other.

You see, the lovers were lucky that fate allowed them to find each other once. When they doubted their feelings, it was like tearing up a winning lottery ticket and waiting for another one just to make sure they were really meant to win.

Well, I'm running down the road
tryin' to loosen my load
I've got seven women on
my mind,
Four that wanna own me,
Two that wanna stone me,
One says she's a friend of mine

Take It easy, take it easy
Don't let the sound of your own wheels
drive you crazy
Lighten up while you still can
don't even try to understand
Just find a place to make your stand
and take it easy

Well, I'm a standing on a corner
in Winslow, Arizona
and such a fine sight to see
It's a girl, my Lord, in a flatbed
Ford slowin' down to take a look at me
Come on, baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me
We may lose and we may win though
we will never be here again
so open up, I'm climbin' in,
so take it easy

Well I'm running down the road trying to loosen
my load, got a world of trouble on my mind
lookin' for a lover who won't blow my
cover, she's so hard to find
Take it easy, take it easy
don't let the sound of your own
wheels make you crazy
come on baby, don't say maybe
I gotta know if your sweet love is
gonna save me, oh oh oh

Oh we got it easy
We oughta take it easy

I hear the drums echoing tonight
But she hears only whispers of some quiet conversation
She's coming in twelve-thirty flight
Her moonlit wings reflect the stars that guide me towards salvation
I stopped an old man along the way
Hoping to find some old forgotten words or ancient melodies
He turned to me as if to say: "Hurry boy, it's waiting there for you"

[Chorus:]
It's gonna take a lot to drag me away from you
There's nothing that a hundred men or more could ever do
I bless the rains down in Africa
Gonna take some time to do the things we never had

The wild dogs cry out in the night
As they grow restless longing for some solitary company
I know that I must do what's right
Sure as Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti
I seek to cure what's deep inside, frightened of this thing that I've become

[Repeat chorus]

[Instrumental break]

Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you

[Repeat chorus]

Why.. why does it hurt to so much... ? I thought I was ok already.. I thought I was coping.. and then out of the blue, a single thought pierces my defenses like an arrow and my whole world trembles once again.. The rain clouds soar in from the horizon and these tears threaten to overwhelm me..
I've been having trouble sleeping.. I lie in bed at night.. and I just can't go to sleep.. not even when I know that we might meet in dreamland like we did before... Even the oblivion of sleep is no solace for me.. Cause what I need isn't sleep, is a different kind of rest..
I have trouble functioning it feels like there's a huge gaping wound in my chest, it's a miracle that I'm not dead yet.. A message arrives from you and my hand instantly jumps to the phone.. it's almost reflex action that action already.. I have to force myself to withdraw my hand and finish this.. because I need to get this out before I can't anymore.. Why.. why did it have to be this way? When two hearts are one, why does the world have to matter or interfere? You're having exams now and I made you promise me to put everything on hold.. to concentrate and not to let anything affect you.. :) you'd notice that I never made a promise like that.. because I just can't.. I can't treat you as friend my darling.. not after all that we've been through. I'll never find another one like you... not on the face of this earth.. I've been very very nice to you lately not because of any competition against the guy who's trying to steal you away. You're not a prize or an object that the 'nicest guy' is rewarded with.. I'm nice to you because, that is the truth.. that is the way I was and I am.. do you remember? before my NS days.. before the world came in between us..  before my spirit got crushed by everything else.. this was how I was to you remember? All the love in the world.. your heart remembers.. And quite apart from helping you to concentrate on your exams so that you can do well.. I'm doing this so that you can remember me, remember us this way.. no matter where you go, whatever you do.. IT tears at my heart to let you go back to study.. especially in that room with him in there and all.. but I'd much rather I get torn to shreds and you do well than I protect myself by creating an uproar and you're unable to focus/concentrate.. Just one more day my precious.. one more day..
Which brings me to the other promise I made you make.. to always follow your heart.. Please follow your heart my love.. no matter what you do, no matter where you go.. there is no more important thing than this.. For if you gain the world but lose your heart, what use is that? I was looking to my after ORD time to myself.. a period of time where i can find myself once again.. where I can heal my soul and finally be who I want to be.. with who I want to be..  to make it up to you.. I'm learning to play the guitar, I'm taking up coaching.. I'm getting my driving license.. but what use is all this if I do not have you to do it for? Ever since you came into my life, you have become my sole/soul reason for doing the things I'm doing.. and I don't know how I'm going to continue like this.. But one thing is for certain.. I will continue to be nice to you.. because that's the only way I know how to be to tell you I love you..  I'll continue to give.. until this pain inside me tears me to pieces, until one day I no longer turn up at your house with macs breakfast, until one day my voice breaks when singing to you.. until a time when you look for me and can no longer find me.. Know that that is the time when the pain has gotten the better of me, when your knight in shining armour has been slain by your dragon.. Oh my precious.. don't you know what's worse than the pain of not having the trust of your loved one..? Until the day when you try to find me and I cannot be found.. know then that I am gone.. Look to the ground for my broken bones, look to the sea for pieces of my armour and my sword lost in the heat of battle, listen to the wind for my voice in broken song.. and if you ever want me back, look to your heart.. and forgive us first.. and like your 3rd promise to me, never judge for yourself what you do or do not deserve...
I love you... Take care.. I understand...